Remember when you said “Jess please let me know the next time you’re in the hospital, I’d like to know and even come be there for you.” Well that time came and you were not here. You were the first person I thought about when I walked into that hospital. It slapped me in the face. I kept thinking about how much pain you were in and how much suffering you went through. I tried to let you be my strength but I was still a wuss. I miss you. My wedding is in 2 days and this week has been a nightmare. I’m thankful to be out of the hospital but I still feel like crap. I can’t believe you won’t be here for my wedding. I literally just received a grief packet from hospice. They won’t leave me alone. Every time I hear from them I want to cry. I drove past it the other day and could barely keep it together. I wish I lived closer to the cemetery I’d go right now. I wish you were here mom, and I’m so sorry you aren’t. I know you would want to be here too. Love you.