Missing you

Hi Mom, 

This blog is kind of turning into letters to you but I’m ok with that. I got married last week, it was great but I missed you. There was a picture of you in my sight during the ceremony and I started crying. I also had Jim read my favorite poem which is tattood on my wrist. I forgot the part of the poem that says “you are a child of the universe” which is what you always called me and I started crying again. You would have loved every part of it. Lori worked so hard setting everything up to make the barn look beautiful. You would have been in awe. We had a big fire, went swimming, drank a lot, danced….you would have been so happy. I feel you in almost everything I do and everything I think, even everywhere I go. I feel like you’re everywhere lately and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or bad thing because I keep getting emotional. But I also don’t want this feeling to stop because I never want to feel like you aren’t with me. I can’t imagine this feeling lessening over the years. I don’t want it to. I don’t know if your headstone has been installed yet. The cemetery said they would call me when it was but I never really trust anyone. I wanted to go to the cemetery this weekend but I made excuses not to go 😞 I know better than to tell myself you wouldn’t want me to go there anyway but I know you!! You would expect me to go! I want to go, I’m just being lazy…and I’m sorry. 

I love you Mom. I miss you. I wish you were here. 

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